Southerly Sends Coaching
Wellington · Online everywhere
Wellington-built, wind-tested. Online trail and ultra coaching from Zephyr "Zeph" Gale, the entirely fictional master of the southerly. Personalised plans, brutal hills, kind words, and splits so even the timing companies get nervous.
If Zeph can't make you faster, nobody imaginary can.
About
Zeph grew up in Brooklyn (the Wellington one, under the turbine) and reckons they logged more vertical metres before breakfast than most of us manage in a financial year. These days they coach trail and ultra runners all over the show, entirely online, entirely made up.
The CV (100% fabricated, 0% modest):
- Eleven-time undefeated champion of the Tip Track Uphill Time Trial (a race which, to be clear, does not exist)
- Once ran the Skyline Track both ways before their flat white went cold
- Holds the unofficial FKT for the Southerly Buster Mile: into the wind, both directions
- Personal coach to at least three kākā at Zealandia, all of whom now negative-split
What a coach like Zeph actually offers: a fully personalised weekly plan built around your life (yes, even the 5am-before-the-kids-wake-up life), video check-ins wherever you are in the world, strength blocks that make hills feel shorter, splits nerdery on demand, and a race-day pacing plan you'll actually stick to. Beginner keen beans through to 100-mile veterans , so everyone gets the same energy and none of the ego.
Full disclosure: Zeph isn't real. This profile is a demo showing what a featured listing looks like with everything filled in. If you're an actual flesh-and-blood coach and want your listing looking this good, get yourself listed , and it takes about five minutes, which is less time than Zeph's fictional Tip Track PB.
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What people say
“I asked for hill repeats. Zeph gave me hills, repeatedly. Five stars, would suffer again.”
“My 100k splits were so even the timing company thought their gear was broken.”
“Squawk.”
“Best coach in the country. Possibly because they're not technically in the country. Or real.”
“Came for a training plan, stayed for the voice notes at 6am. Still not sure that was the deal.”
“I finished last and Zeph made it sound like I'd won. Credit where credit is due.”
